It seems quilting isn’t really done with me, or perhaps I’ve just figured out that I’m not done with quilting. Maybe it just takes more time than you’d believe to get past total burnout. Remember that ambivalence? Well, I’ve spent a lot of time over the last three and more years trying to answer the question “What do I want to do now?” I’m lucky that I have the luxury to even consider that, I know.
I’ve thought about (and tried) a lot of different things that I could pursue instead of quilting and textile art: drawing, mixed media art, programming, web design, web and mobile app creation, photography, and so on. It all goes back to how much resources I’d need to devote to be able to accomplish what I’d want to at the level I’d want to be at, and it’s just too much time, effort, and in some cases money, to invest in something that doesn’t speak to me as clearly and as loudly as quilting and textile art always has.
To state it another way, and this is a bit more brutal: I think I’m just too lazy to invest the time and energy it would take to be as good at any of that other stuff as I am at quilting. Yep, I can just admit that I’m lazy. Quilting is still a comfort zone as well. Or it is again…or something.
Maybe that doesn’t make a lot of sense to anyone but me, but that’s okay too. If it doesn’t make sense, just call it “Finding out that the grass isn’t greener somewhere else and I don’t have the energy to fertilize it to make it greener” and let it go.
After all of this coalesced in my brain, I’ve been in my studio for the last week or so, reacquainting myself with my art and trying to remember where everything is! The retreat to the studio has been fun and feels like what I’m supposed to be doing right now (finally), and it wasn’t long before the creative spark flickered and then began to burn in earnest. I pulled out the Misery Quilt and dove in to some machine quilting, which is still one of my favorite things to do. The move from office to studio was noted by the boys, who promptly fell back into the routine:
Shadow’s favorite activity is being in my way, followed closely by fighting with me over possession of my sewing chair. At least Patches is happy to just be in the room with me! The Misery Quilt is coming along, but still may prove to be my greatest challenge to actually get it done.
Will there be quilting content here again? I think so, but it also comes with a need to tread carefully so as not to feel burned out again. It needs to be “blogging without obligation” and only when there’s awesomeness to share. Quilting needs to be balanced against the other things I like to do and want to do and have to do, and I know I still have a problem with balance. There are already tons of quilting things I want to do, or need to do or should do, but I have to keep that balance in mind.